The Safe Is Anything But
by JetbrewBarista34
Summary: Set after Sam & Cat episode #KillerTunaFishJump. After somewhat blowing up at Cat over her constantly friend-zoning him (he's hoping that's not a word), Robbie contemplates how he is going to apologise. But after being invited to said girl's apartment, Robbie finds himself in a kind of safe situation. Two-shot. CABBIE, mentions of Bade in second part.


**I'm dedicating this to CabbieFluffQueen, who helped with this and was nice enough to respond to my PMs despite my constant not answering back. Did the last part of that sentence make sense? Ah, well, anyways, yeah, shout-out to her, she's awesome and my rudeness to her kinda guilt tripped me into finishing this. Especially when I saw that she favorited me before I even freakin' wrote something. I feel that I owe you, CFQ and so this is written almost entirely in your name. Almost because my pen name is the one by the title. But, hey, I'm looking for your approval more than anyone else so far.**

**And if your reading this, dear reader, and feel the need to flame, go ahead. Just please make your criticism constructive. This isn't Facebook.**

**Onward to... the story!**

…

**I'm sorry for that**

_**Hiding In The Same Place**_

Robbie Shapiro knew most girls didn't find him attractive. He thought it sucked, but he could respect a woman's taste. So how would you feel if you were Robbie and you kissed your best friend, the literal girl of your dreams, who kissed back by the way, and then had to sit there and watch as she ran from you just seconds afterwards?

Now _that_ is what you call rejection.

Simply put, Robbie had pretty much given up on Caterina Valentine, said girl of his dreams, and the thing with the killer tuna had almost cemented this. Despite his denial, Robbie could still feel his heart beat like thunder when she touched him or looked at him. He could lie to Beck and Andre, but they knew the truth and so did he.

Caterina Valentine still owned his heart.

He wasn't sure how he felt about that.

"_Did I ever tell you what the... definition of... insanity is?_

_Insanity... is... doing the exact... same fucking thing over and over again... expecting shit to change. That. Is. Crazy."_

Robbie shut his computer. He usually played video games to take his mind off things but that latest piece of dialogue had not helped his mood.

_Thank you, Vaas_, he thought. _I didn't need to be reminded about that._

That little "Definition of Insanity" speech seemed more like a "Definition of the Friendzone" one, instead. He'd blown up at Cat over the matter after he "accidentally" brought it up. But he thought it was inevitable, him blowing up at her.

"What do mean you don't want to do this anymore? We're best friends!"

"My point exactly. You can't get my hopes up every single time you so much as act like you like me the way I do you without crushing them just a moment afterwards!"

"Whoa, Rob, calm dow-"

"I won't calm down, this is INSANE!"

"But, Robbie, I don't even know what you're talking about."

"..."

"Nice going, Cat, I suppose that's exactly what he wanted to hear right now."

"Quiet, Jadey!"

"Don't call me that!"

"I'm leaving."

"No, Robbie, don't! I'm sorry, I-"

"No, Cat, I'M sorry. But I hate this, I hate it! The fact that I have to _pretend_ that I don't have feelings for you, the fact that you_ pretend_ not to notice, I hate it! I'm just... tired of it, Cat."

"Robbie, I-"

"No, just, just, no, Cat... Just leave me alone for now, please... I need my space..."

Robbie was now convinced that he was wrong to say things like that to her. He didn't think they were too bad, but given Cat's hyper-sensitive nature, he knew they must've stung her, at least a little bit. He badly wanted to apologise, but how would he go about that? Before the incident with the killer tuna, no one, especially not _Cat_, had even mentioned the song he sung her... and the CowWow was still unheard of, although he was aware that everyone knew about it.

_Da-ling!_ went Robbie's phone.

He began to internally question his love of video games. Using the Maio sound effects for grabbing a coin as a message alert seemed a little **too** nerdy.

It was from Cat.

Robbie took a deep breath before he read the message.

**Robbie can we talk please? ):**

What was with the frown? Did that mean she wasn't happy about having to talk to him? Nevertheless, Robbie felt his mood lighten a bit as something else hit him. Cat wanted to talk to him about his feelings.

Oh. Crap.

What was he supposed to do? He was panicking now. She was probably going to sit him down and carefully explain the fact that she didn't reciprocate his feelings. Oh, man. Oh, man oh man oh man oh man. That wasn't good. This would probably give him the closure he needed to move on from Cat but that didn't mean he wasn't going to suffer such an intense heartbreak so heartbreakingly heartbreaking that he would ever love again. If anything it confirmed that.

_Da-ling!_ Another message.

**Pleasey? ):**

Great. She said it. Now he had to go.

He really was weak.

Robbie was standing outside Sam and Cat's apartment. The trip here had been too short for his liking. Far too short. He'd been planning on saying some things that could persuade her to go out with him, but before he'd even pondered on where to start, he was at the apartment.

He really hated how life worked against him.

He took a deep breath and then, after a long pause, knocked on the door.

"Come in, it's open."

He opened the door and stepped inside quickly at the sound. That wasn't Cat's voice.

"Jade," he said, confused beyond belief. "What are you doing here?!"

The dreaded Jade West herself was lounging on the couch next to Sam Puckett, who was sucking on a meat bone. Quenching his disgust at the blonde, Robbie turned his focus to Jade.

"Hanging with Cat and Sam," she hollered, raising an eyebrow at him. "What about you, puppet boy? And where's the puppet?"

Robbie glared at her. Or at least, tried to, this was Jade West he talking to. "He's not a puppet! And he's at home, I didn't need him for this."

"For what?"

"Nothing," he said nervously. "Where's Cat?"

Sam answered. "Locked in the safe in our room."

Robbie's jaw dropped. "What? She's stuck in there and your just _sitting here_?"

"Yep," Jade replied. "She said you were coming over, so we figured we'd just get you to get her out." Sam nodded in agreement.

Robbie was about to scold them, as best as he could, anyway, when something occurred to him. If he got Cat out, she'd think he'd just saved her life. And then she'd probably want to date him! She loved a Knight in Shining Armor after all!

The excitement he gained from this insane amount of troll logic must've shown on his face because Jade said;

"Why are you just standing there, smiling like Sinjin?"

"Oh," Robbie quickly made his way to Sam and Cat's room. "I'd best be off then."

He could just feel the two girls roll their eyes behind him.

Robbie walked up to the safe. "Hey, uh, what's the combination?"

"It's already open!"

"But if it's already open, why is Cat still in there?" Robbie questioned. He really didn't understand women.

"Just get the ditz out already," came Jade's sharp reply.

Robbie squeled at that, throwing open the safe and bolting inside.

"Whoa," he was stunned. This was more like a panic room than a safe. "This is cool. Like a secret little clubhouse. Cat! Are you in here?"

There was no reply.

"Cat?"

Robbie stepped tentatively into the tiny room. It was empty

"Thanks, Shapiro."

Robbie spun on the spot just in time to see Jade smirk at him as she shut the safe behind him, a click going off just a second later.

Cat walked into the apartment. She wasn't feeling too well today, what with Robbie's outburst and finding Jade hanging out with Sam again.

"Jade," she said, confused beyond belief. "What are you doing here?!"

"Hanging with Sam," Jade replied, not even bothering to look at her red-headed friend. "What are you doing back here?"

"I left my phone here," Cat said. "Have you seen it?"

"Here," Jade said, pulling the pink Pearphone from her pocket. "You should probably set up a lock screen and a code."

Cat gasped as she snatched the phone from Jade's hand. "Jadey! You went through my phone?"

"Yes and don't call me that!" Jade said, shooting her a look.

"Oh, and you're nerd's locked in the safe," Sam interrupted, before Cat could argue.

"Nerd? What nerd?"

"Shapiro," Jade said, not looking at Cat.

Cat gasped again, running for her and Sam's room. She quickly entered the combination and climbed in.

"Robbie," she called. "Are you in here?" Her eyes fell on his unconcious figure.

"Oh, NO!" she wailed, falling to her knees next to him. "I'm too late!"

She cried into her hands for a few minutes. Unbeknowst to her, the young man beside her had only fallen asleep and was beginning to stir.

"Negh, uh... Cat?"

Cat stifled her cries at the sound of Robbie's voice. "Robbie?"

"Uhh, why are you crying?"

She answered with a bone-crushing hug. "You're alive!"

"Um, yeah, I was just asleep. How are you?" Robbie asked, ignoring the pain he was receiving from her hug.

"Happier now that you're okay," she gave him a teary smile. "What are you doing in here?"

"I was looking for you," Robbie answered, more confused than ever before. "You texted me earlier and said you wanted to talk to me."

Now Cat looked confused. "No, I didn't, I left my phone behind on my way to your house."

Robbie frowned. "But Jade said-"

"JADE!" Cat stood up, glaring at the wall. "She and Sam left you here! They probably locked you in here, too!"

"Uh, yeah, Jade did."

Cat made her way to the entrance to the room when

"Have fun in there with your boy toy," Sam said from the outside, as Jade swung the door shut.

Cat froze. Not Again. She was stuck in the tiny room. Again. But this time she was with...

She turned to the boy on the floor, the one who owned her heart, who she'd been in love with for years now.

Cat let out a whimper as she realised her situation.

**I'll post part two of this when I can. CabbieFluffQueen, I hope you enjoyed this.**

**Review if u want! I really don't mind if you don't.**

**CABBIE!**


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